Saturday, 4 October 2008

Liesel's Ambitions

My ambitions. Sounds pretty serious doesn't it? And I guess to make them true that is what I will have to be for a change. Uh oh *g* Before I tell you what they are let me first tell you a true story. It's true because it happened to me and my family. Made me think differently. Well here it goes!

Two years ago my cousin Dennis was diagnosed with cancer. It was in a very advanced stage and it didn't look good. It gives me the chills just thinking about it now. He was a strong man, good hearted and a terrific sense of humour and it's heart wrenching to see someone shrivel up because of cancer. Thank goodness he never lost his sense of humour. He died at the age of 30. It makes you realise that we don't live forever. We don't know what's waiting for us tomorrow. I wrote down a list with on top in capitals 'now is the time'. Don't wait for tomorrow it might not be there. Chase your dreams today before it's too late to chase them. It's a comfort to know that Dennis lived every single day of his life to the fullest. Right up to the end. Thanks to him I did I bee keeping course I wanted to do for so long but kept postponing. That's why I went travelling for two months because I could. I might be married next year, pregnant and I wouldn't have been able to do it. Who knows what the future brings.

Things didn't get much better. This spring my two nan's passed away. A month later my much beloved dog. She passed away while I was in Rome. I literally broke down. Here I am crying just writing this :'( I miss them so much I ache.

Losing so many loved ones makes you try to see the why? This is my probably crazy reasoning:
Dad has practically moved in with his girlfriend, mum is in a serious relationship as is my sister. There don't seem to be any ties left to hold me down here. Nan Adriana missed me if she hadn't seen me for a day, so let alone me being away for weeks, and with my dreams of living in England she would have been heartbroken plus I would constantly have been worried about my nan's health's. No one 'needs, depends' on me any more I was thinking.. perhaps this God's plan. God saying to spread my wings and fly. He has set me free. I rather have my loved ones back but there we are. I am being very silly?



Abounding Treasures said...


Thanks for commenting on my blog today - I really appreciate it.

How sad for you to lose both your Nans so close together and other important treasured ones in your life ... as well as your beloved dog.

I can remember the feeling of losing my stepfather when I was 11 yrs old ~ I was so sad and so lost ...

My heart goes out to you,