Wednesday, 8 April 2009
What to do with oneself?
I finished secondary school, went to college after which I started at my summer job which lasted 5 years before I quit to go travelling and to be quite honest to get away from everything. A year later I have three part-time jobs and, to be frank, I'm just going with the (slow) current. I'm quite happy but really someone of my age (25) I should have a full time job and be able to provide for myself or, at the very least, study. I don't do either. Which really stopped me is that it's scarry to go back in 'society'. I have lived a sheltered life after college and have become a homebody. Oh I go out shopping and walks but nothing really sociable outside my family and work. I KNOW have to do something with my life - especially after my cousin's young death I have become aware that you shouldn't take life for granted and vowed to life by the day. Most of the times I do enjoy the little things; a cat sleeping in the sun, birds gathering twigs to build their nest, the glowing stars at night and I'm happy I can see and appreciate those things because I know many people don't and they miss out on so much! My parents quite rightly dispair of me and keep nagging I should do something. My mum has been telling me to become a secretary for years now but no longer is she saying to me to the course but she's telling me I am. It's one year course and even in this time secretaries are in demand which is a good thing to know. I just can't see myself as one. Then again I can't see me doing any job. I keep going in circles. I have so many interests that I find it difficult to choose one study because it means not doing another one that interests me as well. Of course now I'm letting them go all by not chosing any study. I'd love to study history but I'm very sensitive and honestly don't know if I can deal with the horrors of the death penalty and wars. I love art history but could you make a carreer in it? Thelogy, because I'm intered in different religions and I think I'm make quite a good Theologist. I suppose you could work in a museum (doing what?) or a teacher and one thing I am certain about is that I'm not teacher material! I have difficulty enough to make the dogs listen to me, let alone children. Something I will have to learn may I have my own children one day. I'd love to make a difference. That's always the first thing that comes to my mind when I think what I want to do with my life. I enjoy taking care of people but I could not be a nurse (I'm too skittish). I'd love to see the world but to work in the travel world I'm afraid it will rub away the fun out of it and being a vegetarian/vegan brings some problems along. So secretary doesn't sound too bad although a bit boring perhaps? A friend of my sister's is a secretary and she enjoys her work and being only 20 she just bought her own home! I'm a girl who likes her luxuries; getting my eyebrows plugged, going on holiday a few times a year, more expensive clothes like Oililly & Ted Baker (although I don't buy them too often and also love shopping at Primark & TK Maxx). If I have well paid job I could work part-time (4 days a week or only mornings) which would be ideal and like mum always says you can do fun things in your spare time. I've always wanted to learn riding, keep bees and make pottery and I would have time and energy to those. I have to say if you have read so far I'm impressed! It must be quite a bore to read about my ramblings but appreciate your having read everything so far. Now my question is what do you think I should do? And what would you do in my situation? Don't worry about sparing my feelings, I want you to be very honest and frank.